Tales and Articles

If you're a lifelong city-slicker headed bush in search of the Eighth Wonder of the World, there are three things you really should have: a map, a clue and a reasonable level of sobriety. Oops.

I came for a tan and the world’s biggest pina colada. What I got were monsoons, shipwrecks and a covert operation to claim Thailand’s most beautiful beach. Yup, just another week in paradise.

Three weeks of budget-shredding bliss through homeless Newcastle, star-studded London, sleepy Scotland and steamy Bahrain with a maxed out credit card and the world’s most unlikely tour guide.

I may have come searching for my Middle Eastern roots in the land of veils and saffron, but it’s orange blossoms, mosques and accusations of international espionage that I find. Surprised?

When you attempt to run, truck and couch surf your way across four countries in as many weeks, protests, terrorism and cultural misunderstandings are bound to follow. All you can do is hold on and try to have a blast.

Grab some water and extend your thumb for a camel-saddled, goat-crashin’ good time from the Sahara to the Sierra with the world's most incompetent hitchhiker.

Sly thefts, polite muggings and how I became the marketing manager for a Chefchaouen drug lord. Hold on to your Fez hats for 72 hours of Moroccan madness.

Yodelling champions, Iggy Pop, AWOL soldiers and a hot and steamy session in a Budapest bath house ... it’s all you’d expect from a zig-zag dash behind the Iron Curtain.

Crazed Croats, impersonated journalists, brawls, extremists, cliff diving and of course a Bosnian nymphomaniac. Who would have thought the Balkans would be so much fun?

Take nothing for granted when you're travelling with your polar opposite through the land of wine and pasta.

A predictably chaotic final week took an awe-inspiring turn after making the acquaintance of a young man with an incredible story.

Saddle up and rev your motors for a cross country tour on Timor's most tempermental motorbikes.

Dodging aggro peacekeepers and begging for accommodation are just two crucial skills you'll pick up in your first twelve days in the world's newest nation. Just don't forget to enjoy yourself.

What a way to finish the trip: two madcap weeks among the most generous people on Earth suffering under one of the most oppressive dictatorships on the planet. And of course I was detained by gun-wielding security guards at least once. Would I disappoint?

Guns, punks and Cambodia's deadliest snake. Yep, I finally decided to take it easy for a week.

Crashed motorbikes, crashed weddings and crash-happy pilots. Here we go again.

It'll happen slowly, but before you know it this country has infected your heart and won your admiration ... if only I hadn't almost died (yet again) in the process.

Paddy dreaming, a Vietnamese Christmas and how to help a returning vet see the light.

Dog soup, suicidal bigots and a crash course in motorcycle technique.

Arrests, castration and an in-depth discussion of bowel movements. Another day, another post.

Showers, hot showers, how I love thee.

Druggings, paradise, near death experiences and a healthy dose of American cheese … too much to say, too little time.

Wise old men, jungle trekking and the joys of Anthrax. How do I keep doing this to myself?

Chapter Five of my new book: "So you're surrounded by people who want to beat you to death".

But I guess that's all you can expect when you make your travel plans under the influence of a few beers.

Do you ever have the feeling that you've just made mistake? And not just a big mistake, but the kind of mistake that'd make Nick Leeson point and laugh?